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Miscellany

Fixing Baseball

A prominent poster on X/Twitter (@BBGreatMoments) asks: “If you became MLB Commissioner, what would be your first move?”

I’m glad you asked. I have a dozen or so moves that would restore baseball as the national pastime. Right now, thanks to the marketing fools in MLB’s New York offices, baseball has lost what makes it special: the beauty of the game itself. The pace has been better since the pitch clock, but a lot of essential reform needs attention.

The Game

  • Ban in-broadcast advertising on both TV and radio. It’s not just that it makes the games spammy. Even worse, these ads interrupt the flow of the game. The flow is what makes baseball so great. Tension builds slowly, and then you get one of those blurbs for Geico or Jersey Mike’s, and it’s all ruined. It’s like being harassed by a telemarketer all day. Brain researchers say it takes 23 minutes to refocus on a subjectafter an interruption. What do all these blurbs bring in, a few million? Please. Do you really want to abuse the fan for a few quick bucks? Is that really worth it? Can’t we please get into the flow of the game?
  • End the in-game interviews with players, managers, and coaches. Never does anyone say anything insightful. You just take attention away from the game. You lose the flow. It’s a joke.
  • No tech in the dugouts. Once the games begin, ban the use of phones, iPads, video, and all other tech. All of it. We’ve already seen the corruption of the tech ubiquity with the Astros’ garbage can-banging fiasco. But something greater is at stake. We need to let the players play. Let ’em spend hours watching video and computer breakdowns, go crazy with stats, and immersing themselves in matchups and positioning data. But leave all the devices in the clubhouse when the ump says, “Play Ball!”
  • Shorten the commercial time between half innings. This might be the real culprit for long games.
  • Ban betting at the stadium and eliminate betting advertising. Focus on the game, the athleticism of the players, the strategy, the warmth of the sun on the skin, and the sheer joy of a day at the ballyard. Besides all that, now many betting scandals—and how much gambling addiction—is it OK to promote? (Answer: None.)
  • Keep the pitch clock. It’s imperfect, but it does keep the games peppy. That’s essential if the game is to survive beyond the (1) old folks who grew up watching the generations from Seaver to Bonds, (2) young affluent studs who spend their whole adolescence on travel teams, (3) players from Latin America and Asia.
  • Speed up play review. The player must request a review instantly—within 10 seconds of the play. End this nonsense of managers getting tips from the video guy in the clubhouse. If you think you wuz robbed, say so. Then, the video reviewers will be required to render a verdict right away. There is no need for the umps to wear those headphones.
  • In-game penalties. If a player violates important rules—foreign substances on pitches, barreling slides, fighting, beanballs, arguing (a truly stupid thing)—follow hockey’s inspired use of a penalty box. Take a fielder off the field for an inning or two. Make the offending team try to prevent runs with eight players on the field.
  • Limit the number of pitchers on the team roster. The starting pitcher, arguably the most important part of baseball’s appeal, needs to be revived. Fans love real pitching matchups—and not just for five innings, followed by a parade of 100-mph relievers. Limiting the number of pitchers will require teams to recalibrate their pitching strategy. Maybe if they want long innings, they should teach pitchers to pitch instead of throw. There’s only one Greg Maddux, but we need a lot more Maddux types.
  • More day games. Maybe not in places without domes in impossibly hot cities. Otherwise, please remember that baseball is like a trip to the beach. Yes, the beach and ballpark are both great at night. Nothing like a cool breeze on a warm night under the lights. But we need more games where kids and oldsters can watch, where you can get home before 12.

The Business of Baseball

  • End regional media control for teams. Vastly different TV money is the biggest reason teams like the Dodgers and Yankees have such a spending advantage over everyone else. It’s not only unfair; it’s also obsolete. Fans for all teams are everywhere. Pool all the TV money and split it up. Let the teams contributing most to the sport’s overall value (we can play around with a few measurements) rake in some extra revenues. But enough is enough (By the way, the whole Oakland A’s fiasco is a result of the Giants’ not letting them play in San Jose. So the A’s will presumably play in low-population Gambling City. What a sham.)
  • Set salary floors and ceilings. Owners should pay to be competitive. If you can’t field a competitive team, sell the team. At the same time, should the Steve Cohens of the world be allowed to overpay so wildly? I know, it hasn’t worked yet for the convicted inside trader. (Yeah, I know, he wasn’t personally convicted, just his firm. So where did he get his billions?) But this grotesque inequality has no place in the game.
  • Bring the fans into the labor negotiations. The fans foot the bill—not just by paying for tickets, broadcasting, and merch but also by subsidizing the stadiums. As the owners and players feast on the commodification of the game, the fans get left behind. A fan rep deserves to sit at the table.
  • Shorten the damn season. Go back to 154 games. Bring back doubleheaders. Start in mid-April and end in late September. Snow-outs and 30-degree temps are ha-ha funny but a travesty. Baseball is the summer game, not the late winter/late fall game.
  • Oh, and shorten the postseason too. Most casual fans have lost interest by the time the World Series rolls around. Even we serious fans are a little worn out. If you want to have four rounds (wildcard, divisional, LCS, and WS), that’s fine, I suppose. But if so, shorten the length of the series: one game for the wildcard, best of three for the divisional, best of five for the LCS, and best of seven for the WS. I know, I know: MLB would lose some broadcast money. But answer me this: Might they get better viewership if people weren’t so numb? If anyone cared?
  • Realign? Maybe. I love the traditional separation of the leagues, but that’s long gone. If we really want every team to play every team every year, what’s the point of the separate leagues? Maybe it’s time to create two NBA-style regional conferences. Sure, the players go first-class, but it’s absurd for teams to spend so much time flying across the continent (not to mention to games in Europe, Asia, and Latin America).
  • Make all traditional over-air broadcasts available for free streaming. You can still show ads between innings to get a little more revenue. But if the Mets are on WPIX, let the non-TV types grab a few innings.
  • Stop plastering ads all over the place. The shoulder patch is cheap and garish and unnecessary. Rip it off. Don’t put ads on bases, grass, etc.
  • End the Hall of Fame charade. The museum in Cooperstown is a place to experience baseball history, not a shrine for the Holy of Holies. Pete Rose has always been a jerk—as one of his high school classmates has told me—but he also amassed more hits than anyone in history. Yeah, he gambled and then lied, but now baseball is promoting gambling like it’s a blue pill for fan interest. Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens dominated their era like no others. Rafael Palmiero was one of the great all-around hitters. As the juicers juiced, the baseball establishment happily went along for the ride. Everyone knew. Now, when the Hall has enshrined very good but not great players (hello, Harold Baines), it has also banned the transcendent players of all time. If we restrict the Hall to sweet, charming guys, let’s rename it the Hall of Ernie Banks and Tony Gwynn.

Marketing Stuff

  • For the love of God, please stop wearing so many uniforms. The team insignia, colors, and uniforms are among the sport’s most important branding tools. The Dodgers and Yankees are iconic, in part, because of their classic hats and unis. Go with white home jerseys and gray or colored road jerseys. Some City Connect uniforms are cool (e.g., Cardinals, Orioles, Braves, Royals), but most are an abomination. The Padres’ sherbet-colored uniforms/pajamas are unlookable. Look, I realize merch brings in a lot of money. But maybe use the goofy-ass apparel for exhibitions and BP. Is it worth devaluing the brands to rake a few bucks now? And as long as we’re talking about laundry, can we require team colors for shoes and undergarments? Garish yellow sleeves and pink shoes are just … tacky.
  • Five thousand $5 seats in every stadium, every day. Done by lottery, say, a week before every series. No electronic resales (to prevent professional scalpers from taking over). Maybe a limit of one set of four seats a year per household.
  • Give fans the option of “natural” broadcasts. Getting rid of in-game commercials will help. But announcers are getting increasingly annoying, yammering away about salaries, golf, and statistics. Boy, I miss Vin Scully’s solo broadcasts; sure, he chatted away (most charmingly), but he also honored the park’s sounds and the game’s pace. Therefore: Let fans watch a game on the MLB app with the ballpark sounds but without the announcers.
  • Stop pimping the game. The NBA’s intro of players is bad enough, with the lights turned down, the loud speakers blasting, and the spotlights. But when the game starts, the game’s the thing. I don’t mind the walkup songs and entrance songs like Tommy Trumpet (don’t like ’em, but don’t mind too much). But stop the dramatic lights-off theatrics after home runs and wins. It’s cheap and stupid.

I have other ideas, but this agenda should take up my full term as commish.


Charles Euchner is the author of The Last Nine Innings, Playing the Field, and Little League, Big Dreams. He is a free-agent fan looking for an incentive-laced deal.